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artist statment

I was born in war.

Everything around me now is war.

War has always been.

I cannot remember a time when there was no war.

If it wasn't on TV, it was in my soul. It was in my ears on Sunday nights when we used to call Teta in Beirut... across the Sahara, my ears picked up the crackling of the telephone line, the apprehension in the voices, the sporadic interruptions of white noise. It was under my skin as I watched hungry African eyes stare at me in mystification as I rode to school in my air-conditioned car. It was in my tears, when I was rejected by the high school blond at the high school dance in the European country I was in. It was in my heart when I came to my native land and watched it repeat it's same mistakes, over and over again.

In the beginning I was creating so that people would remember. But now, I have to be honest with myself; I am caught up in existential unrest and I find myself creating these images and forms because I cannot physically do anything else. It is no longer about right and wrong. It is not an intellectual debate. It is a creative offering I make to help maintain balance and order in the world around me. Our beliefs create the reality we experience; and only one's own personal experience offers the ultimate criterion for truth. Because truth is beauty, every form of creative invention is evidence that a person is spiritually alive. It is a valid human experience; a true moment, a word, a sound, an act, a sculpture- all the process of being alive; all the affirmation of existence. All spiritual. All holy. Every act we do or word we utter, we are absolutely responsible for. We are absolutely responsible for being alive. We are absolutely responsible for our lives, because we just are. I am and I am grateful for, only being, a fragment in the cosmos of things... the great unbendable universe.

The deeper I look into myself, the more I find that I am connected to something much greater. And this comforts me... knowing that everything I feel or make is a catalyst in someone else's mind. And the more I let go to experience these beliefs, the closer I become to you. We are one, without being numerical.

By painting and sculpting these images, I am fighting for life. I am fighting for your life. I am fighting for my life.

biography:

Born in London, England, el Khalil spent her childhood in Nigeria and then attended high school in England. She then went to Beirut where she attained her undergraduate degree from the American University in Beirut. In 2002 el Khalil received her Masters of Fine Arts from the School of Visual Arts in New York.

el Khalil works in a variety of formats ranging from painting, installation, performance, mixed media, writing, and collage. Themes that are central to her work include issues of violence as well as gender using materials found throughout Beirut. Photocopied images of militiamen and women, civilians and family members are embellished with everything from plastic flowers, glitter, strings of lights, keffiyehs, plastic toy soldiers, toy AK-47s, arabesques, beads, fabrics, and other objects that best convey the diversity of the city she takes her inspiration from. She has exhibited in the United States, Europe, Africa, Australia and the Middle East. She has had solo exhibitions in London, Munich, Turin and Beirut. el Khalil currently lives and works in Beirut, on occasion her Jack Russell Terrier, Tampopo, has been known to accompany her to the studio.
el Khalil has remained active promoting emerging and under-represented Arab artists through several projects. While in New York, she was a co-founder and curator of Al-Jisser. She also became the co-founder, director and curator of xanadu* (xanaduart.com). Created as an "ungallery art space/collective", xanadu* began in New York City as a not for profit organization dedicated to promoting emerging and under - represented artists. Currently, xanadu* is based in Beirut with a small extension on New York City.

During the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 2006, el Khalil immediately began maintaining her blog, beirutupdate.blogspot.com, from her apartment in Beirut. Her blog was a personal account of the siege on Lebanon that lasted for 33 days and its impact on her and the people around her. It quickly received international attention and was highly publicized on news portals such as CNN, the BBC, The Guardian, Der Spiegel Online, The Nation, Counterpunch and Electronic Intifada. Her writing was also included in the anthology “Lebanon, Lebanon” published by Saqi Books. In May 2008, el Khalil was invited by the Nobel Peace Center to participate in a panel discussion on freedom of expression on the internet. The seminar was organized by the Norwegian Board of Technology and The Nobel Peace Center.

In 2008 el Khalil completed her first novel, a memoir entitled “Beirut, I Love You”, currently being translated into several languages.